Three Continents
by ArizonaRoseWolf
Summary: John gets drunk and out comes Three Continents.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey peoples, I intend to try a fill, if it sucks, I'm sorry.**

This is the prompt:

**Rumors of John being a man who had experience with women in three continents goes around Scotland Yard but nobody can figure it out how such a mild mannered man such as John could possibly accomplish this. They get their answer when Lestrade and co invite him to a bar and he gets drunk.**

When drunk, John turns into a highly confident, smooth talking lady killer that even has Sally flustered when he starts talking to her. Then Sherlock comes in to take him home, but John mistakes Sherlock for a very tall woman (thinking his long coat is a dress) and starts hitting on him. Before Sherlock can even talk sense into him, John grabs him into his arms, swiftly dipping him down and kisses him on the lips.

There were pictures.

As soon as John walked into New Scotland Yard, he knew something was different. The usual hushed whispers quieted down and everyone stared. Then Donovan grinned and said, "Friday night was interesting." Several women agreed and some men, too. John blinked. Friday night? He didn't remember much about it.

Sherlock rolled his eyes, imperious as ever, and said, "Oh, do shut up Donovan, no one has time for this."

Donovan giggled (actually giggled. In Sherlock's presence. Does. Not. Compute.) "I would be nice if I were you, otherwise certain photos might find their way on to the Internet. We also have video."

Sherlock looked horrified. Something John had only seen once before, when Mycroft had...well actually, that's a memory John would rather not look back on. He was still trying to find a workable brain bleach because of that Incident. (Yes, it deserves the capital letter). John sighed. This is why he did not go drinking. And in his defense, he had been forced into it.

(Friday 1:00 am)

John sat in the back of an ambulance, keeping an eye on Sherlock, who's was getting the scratches on his side attended to. The case had been a fairly simple one. But monkeys did not like it when people invaded their territory. Hence the scratches.

A new officer walked up to them, a grin forming on his face. "Watson? T.C. Watson? Doc, I haven't seen you since Kandhar! How are ya?"

John blinked. Then it came to him. "Rover? Hi, how's the leg?"

Rover smiled, slung an arm round John's shoulders and said, "Healed up quite nicely thanks to you, Doc. They managed ta save everything but two a my toes!"

"What does T.C. Stand for?" Donovan sneered. (She'd been rude to John since he had taken her aside during a case in which she was extremely nasty to Sherlock and had quietly and calmly tore her reasons for being rude to Sherlock to shreds, along with her misinformed view of professionalism).

Rover, completely unaffected by Donovan's attitude, smirked and said, "Three Continents. Cause he's got a harem that goes through North America, Europe, and Asia."

Sherlock scoffed. "John? He's much too honest for that."

"Um.. Sherlock-"

"Absolutely preposterous! He's practically a saint!" Donovan sneered. As much as she hated to admit it, she had to agree with the freak. Hell would freeze over before John Watson became a womanizer. (John would have laughed at the thought? As he was when he was drunk. And he was proud of it, too).

"Actually, Donovan-"

"I have to agree with Donovan and Sherlock." Anderson chimed in. There was simply no way that goody-two-shoes Watson had a harem and he didn't.

"Well-"

"It's true, John. You just aren't that kind of person." Lestrade interrupted. "You're much too-"

"I AM THREE CONTINENTS! YOU CAN ASK ANYONE IN THE ARMY OR THE RAMC WHO KNOWS ME!" There was a stunned silence before they all (Anderson, Donovan, Lestrade, even Sherlock) burst out laughing. John grit his teeth and Rover looked slightly worried. (He had seen Captain Watson angry before and it was an experience he was not willing to go through again. Last time he had that face he had single handedly broke into an insurgent base and... Well, lets just say several of those insurgents ended up in asylum and leave it at that).

"Watson, wunna come to the bar with us later on tonight? It'd give us a chance to catch up." John smiled slightly and nodded.

(Friday Night at the Bar)

John sat talking to Rover about what he'd been up to since Afghanistan when Dimmock challenged him to a drinking contest. Twelve beers later Dimmock was out for the count and John had slipped into the persona of Three Continents. He picked up a flower from the grate on the window (sad looking thing that it was) and tucked it into Donovan's hair. Then he took her hand, kissed it, and said, "M'lady, you look glorious tonight, may I have the pleasure of this dance." She blushed and stuttered but allowed John to pull her out to the dance floor, where a relatively slow song was playing. One hand on her waist and the other holding hers, he flowed fluidly throughout the dance floor, his hands never straying where they shouldn't. As the song was coming to a close, he dipped her back and held her there for a moment. The. He gently spun her up and walked her back to the table, an arm about her waist. Then he whispered to her, "You are a beautiful woman. A diamon in the rough, with fire in your veins."

Sally stuttered and giggled but before she could say anything, Sherlock swooped in an said, "Come, John you are thoroughly drunk."

John grinned and said, "Hello miss, and what's you're name?"

Sherlock frowned, turned to Lestrade and said, "You broke him." In the same way a 5 year old would say "you took my toy."

John, smooth as ever, said, "Don't frown, m'dear, I still work perfectly."

Sherlock grabbed John and pulled him towards the door but John grabbed his face and kissed him thoroughly. Sherlock's eyes widened and he opened his mouth to protest but John took the advantage and swipe his tongue into Sherlock's mouth. Sherlock moaned and his arms wrapped around John in spite of himself. John shoved his leg in between Sherlock's thighs and his legs buckled. He would have fallen if John hadn't caught him. John broke the kiss and started kissing, licking, and biting his way down Sherlock's jaw before going back to attacking his lips. He took Sherlock's bottom lip between his teeth and nibbled. Sherlock found himself grinding against John before he came to his senses and pushed John back. John pouted. Actually pouted. Sherlock, ignoring the fact that he had a boner, dragged John away from the bar and dunked his head into a barrel that had collected the rain water from earlier that day. He kept dunking him until John said, "Alright! Alright! I'm good."

Sherlock snorted. John looked around and then looked closely at Sherlock. "Sherlock, why do you have bite marks on your jaw?"

Sherlock just loomed at him a minute before leaning forward and saying in a deeply seductive voice, "Three Continents." John blushed and looked away but Sherlock turned his head back and kissed him again. John smiled and kissed him back.

(Later that Night)

Sherlock kissed John's forehead and murmured, "We can't tell anyone or you will be targeted more than you already are."

John sighed and snuggled closer before saying, "I know. I don't like it but I know."

Sherlock smiled and said, "Pretend like you don't remember what happened at the bar and see if they believe you, it will be amusing to watch."

John grinned and said, "Yes, they will think I was completely drunk when I kissed you."

"Weren't you?"

"No, I'm partly Scottish, I know how to hold my beer."

"John Watson, you are a devious man." Sherlock grinned. "And I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Of course not, that would be too boring."


	2. Chapter 2

**Since people are actually liking this (which surprises me as I expected people to hate it), I am going to make an offer. If you would like me to do a fill, or somehow continue this, let me know and I'll add it under this story. If no one makes suggestions, however, I most likely will delete this chapter and won't write more in this. So if you want something filled, let me know. I'll do just about anything as long as you're not asking for graphic sex or gore. So point me towards some fills you want :) I'm temporarily giving you the power! Have fun.**


	3. Chapter 3

TC Watson Strikes Again

Prompt by: alleygirl24

Prompt: YES! PLEASE! Ok, erm…how about…oh! How about Mycroft finding out and not believing it, and he invites John and Sherlock to a party, gets John drunk, and then watches in amusement as Sherlock boils with jealousy as John flirts with every available female in viscinity, but unable to say anything because he doesn't want the press to talk.

This prompt will take up two chapters.

Mycroft waited for Lestrade to reach him before saying, "Have a seat Detctive Inspector."

Lestrade sighed and replied angrily, "You do realize you could just talk to me at my flat? Or better yet, talk to me on the way there? And how many times do I have to tell you it's either Greg or Lestrade before you get it right?"

Mycroft fought to keep a straight face as he said, "At least several times more. But we are here to discuss my brother, not your name."

Lestrade rolled his eyes and then said, "He solved another murder, made another suspect cry, is now dating John, and won't give me his statement from the last case."

Typic-"Wait, what?"

"What, what?"

"What did you just say?" Mycroft demanded.

"He won't give me his statement?"

"Before that."

"He made a suspect cry?"

"Yes but _after_ that." Mycroft demanded.

"He's dating John?"

"Yes, that. Sherlock doesn't date. You must've been distracted."

"Oh, there's no doubt that they're dating." Lestrade smirked. He finally had something to get back at Mycroft with.

"No."

"Oh, yes. I have pictures." He said smugly. "John got drunk and started flirting with everyone. Sherlock tried to get him to go with him back to Bakerstreet and John kissed the shit outta him."

"No…_Sherlock_?"

"I believe John thought he was a woman." (If Mycroft Holmes were ever to do something so undignified as snorting, now would be the time it would happen. However, since he is the British Government and would probably make anyone who said as much disappear, we will say that he scoffed).

"That is utterly ridiculous. And as John was drunk, it was most likely a one-time thing."

"Oh, it wasn't."

"I will prove you wrong Inspector."

"And how do you plan to do that?"

"I will make the two of them go to the political gathering next week and get John drunk."

"You will be wrong."

"You will have to come, of course. So that when I prove you wrong, you have to do something for me." And with that, Mycroft Holmes strolled away, already plotting.


	4. Chapter 4

**I have no idea if the stuff I describe in this is possible but for the sake if the story, it is.**

**part 2**

Sherlock glared. He did _not_ want to be at this party. But Mycroft had threatened to tell mummy what had really happened to the ham last Christmas. That would be Very Not Good.

Mycroft, currently ignoring the death glare his brother was giving him, was on his way to getting John completely smashed. It was highly amusing to watch. The more he drank, the more he opened up.

He was currently surrounded by women listening to his war stories. He was telling them about the time that his friend had accidentally rigged an old AK47 and it was shooting at the ground around it.

"And then the captain tries throwing a rock at it, to see if it'll stop and has to dive to the side to avoid being shot. The stupid thing still has over half a line of ammo left and the guys are darting forwards and back and sideways but aren't getting any closer to it. Murray suggested we shoot the side of it and bend the barrel but everyone laughed and told him to shut up and quit being stupid. I thought it wasn't to bad of an idea, but instead of shooting the barrel, shoot the rest of the ammo so it's no longer connected to the gun, so I get lined up with the side of it, as close as I can get, and shoot at it three times."

Here, John pauses to take a sip of his wine and the women on either side of him cling to his arms.

(Sherlock twitches, planning to get back at Mycroft by filling his mansion's pantry with human heads and poisoning all his food. John is _his_. But he doesn't dare say anything. To much press. He'll reclaim John later).

"So what happened?" A man he doesn't know is practically simpering. (Sherlock bangs his head against a table).

"The ammo blew up. Blasted the three of us who were closest back, but none of us had any serious injuries. My captain turned to me, said, 'Son, you are a crack shot, but you are also an idiot.' Then he walked away."

"You were so smart." A woman by the name of Mary says. To Sherlock, she sounds nasally and unpleasant.

"Why, thank ya m'dear."

Sherlock snaps. He strides over to the table, pulls John away from the clinging masses and heads towards the door.

Mycroft cuts them off with a smirk and says, "Something wrong, brother dear?"

Sherlock makes as if to tackle him but Lestrade grabs him by the shoulders and says, "Easy does it, take your boyfriend and go."

Sherlock blinks and Lestrade adds, "Yes I know he's your boyfriend, I'm capable of solving mysteries."

Mycroft turns to Lestrade and says, "This still isn't proof."

"Yes, he's my boyfriend." And then Sherlock left.

Lestrade's grin turned predatory as he moved towards Mycroft and whispered in his ear, "And I believe I win. I'll see you tomorrow."

Mycroft was left gaping.


	5. Chapter 5

**I'm going to for for several fills at once so this will be a busy couple of chapters.**

DreamsOfPari

I've got a prompt for you! John and Sherlock are on a stake out for a case at a club, John gets drunk (obviously) and the criminal they're looking for notices (not knowing of course that the thoroughly hammered and VERY attractive blonde man (that's for Sherlock) is out to get him-or her, whichever works best for the case :) and anyway you can take it where ever but I just want you to continue!

Spirit Lily0

I have a prompt: Donovan is miffed that Anderson and his wife are in the same bar as her. She sees John getting really drunk and remembering "three continents" decides to make a play for him just to make Anderson jealous. :D

A Speckled Brunette

You take prompts?

So... Can we add some mystrade in here? John goes out to the pub with Lestrade, gets drunk, hits on Lestrade, Mycroft gets jealous, one thing leads to another... and Mycroft and Lestrade end up making out on a couch or something.

**So let's get this party started!**

John woke to a pounding headache. What little light made it through the curtains felt like a blade Being driven into his skull. He groaned and then decided that groaning was a horrible idea and that whoever had come up with it should be stuck on a crowded island for the rest of their miserable life.

An arm wound its way across his shoulders and he relaxed slightly as long, delicate fingers started massaging his skull.

For a long time the two sat in silence. Then John found himself being nudged into a sitting position on a certain consulting detective's lap. A glass was held to his lips and John drank greedily. He made a sound of protest when the glass was pulled away but he felt air blown onto the back if his neck (which really tickled) and Sherlock said, "Go slowly or you'll make yourself ill."

John huffed and reached for the glass but Sherlock easily held it out of his reach. John wrapped his arms around Sherlock's waist and let Sherlock slowly give him the water. After a few minutes John buried his face against Sherlock's chest an murmured, "So what happened this time?"

"...Lestrade is now dating Mycroft, Donovan has a new boyfriend, Anderson and his wife are most likely getting a divorce, and you caught the killer by flirting a confession out of him."

"Oh."

"Yes. Oh."

"Start from the beginning?"

"Of course."


End file.
